Achieving Balance: The No RoG paradigm

The Stress we don’t need

Let’s face it: stress is an inseparable part of our lives. In fact, as much as we like to get rid of it, not all stress is bad. Short bursts of stress (acute stress or “eustress”) help us focus by releasing adrenaline and cortisol (cortisol levels actually start rising in the morning helping us wake up and get ready to face the world). This stimulates us to move – like an accelerator. But, of course, we move only when we are in gear. On the contrary, it’s obvious what happens when we accelerate without shifting into gear? We stay stuck in one place. We keep “revving” the engine of our mind; we keep “huffing and puffing” and exhausting ourselves with no real gain. At the end, we are still in the same place, only “out of gas”. This obviously simple analogy hints at the essence of chronic stress and begs the question: Why? Why do we, so often, get stuck into unproductive thought patterns.  

Regret and Guilt: the two drivers of chronic stress

Over the years, I’ve realized that when I catch myself ruminating, I am usually beating myself up about something I had done (or not done) or wishing I had done something differently. This self-blame is extremely painful since most of the time it refers to things that have happened in the past. “Reliving in the past” is great when we remember the good times but it’s not fun when we brood on a past that we cannot change.  The heavy weight of regrets or guilt keep us awake at night. They are like invisible anchors feeding on comparison, on imagined judgments, and they hold us back even when everything at present may be fine. “I wish”, the foot on the accelerator, is not always a bad thing. Only, we need to put our car in gear, declutch and move.

How Regret and Guilt slip into Shame

Regret and Guilt often begin as a signal: “I did something wrong.” “I wish I had done things differently”

In its healthy form, they can motivate repair and learning. But all too often, these feelings morph into shame: “I am wrong. I am bad.” The self-talk corrodes, slipping from self-correction into self-blame. Add to this the weight of imaginary social judgments or peer pressure, and the result is a toxic loop of self-shaming. Instead of leading to growth, it erodes self-esteem,  ensures bridging brooding, and becomes disease in the mind and body.

The No RoG paradigm

I’ve been struggling with Regret and Guilt all my life, and I suspect most of us are. It’s no wonder we are associated to mind numbing scrolling or binge watching done they are adaptations to escape from the “RoG” cycle – unfortunately they only mask the problem and not address it.

I have to come to realize that there is no place for regret or guilt in a healthy, independent life. It is, of course, a pleasant coincidence that no regret or guilt, or “No Rog” means no disease in Sanskrit. In fact, Nirog is the word used for Disease free in Sanskrit. Thus, No Regret or Guilt translates to No RoG, which leads to Nirog.

When regret and guilt are cleared, health — of mind and body — naturally follows. In this framework, living No RoG would mean learning from regret, repairing or forgiving guilt, and refusing to let it corrode into shame. It would also mean shifting envy, a potent driver of regret and guilt, into gratitude or inspiration — so that the same energy that once got stuck actually moves us forward.

Why is it important to address Regret and Guilt

It is no secret that most of our time is spent either in the past or in the future. Also, every moment of our lives is a result of our interaction with the world outside. Internalized baggage quite often colour our reactions to external stimuli. Past regrets and guilts can limit our freedom in choosing the optimal reaction. Moreover, they can worsen our fears of an unknown future. This pretty much screws up our lives since they block us from altering a trajectory that was set in the past.

Boundaries & Moral Resonance

I understand the dangers of generalizing a paradigm such as this since Regret and Guilt have become tools for moral policing. Therefore, a paradigm such as this has to be part of a larger framework of harmony, of resonance with a universal Source. Tentatively, I call it the Tuning Fork Framework – wherein each of us, as tuning forks, can resonate with the Universal Resonance. No RoG does not mean that anything goes. It is not a free pass for ignoring responsibility. The Tuning Fork  framework provides the safeguard here: when our actions are out of tune with truth, compassion, or morality, they create dissonance. That dissonance itself is a signal — it cannot be cleared away by simply declaring ‘no regret, no guilt.’ Only when we take responsibility, make repair, or change course, does the vibration return to resonance. In this sense, No RoG is about resolution, not denial.

Retuning with the Tuning Fork framework

At the centre of this framework, I place Joy. Ananda (yes, already explored in Inside Out). The thought here is that joy isn’t a luxury or an afterthought, it’s the central pillar of healthy living.  Resonance, alignment, harmony — those happen when you’re living from joy. Regret and guilt distort the vibration. No RoG clears the distortion. Joy restores the resonance. And this way of living might not just feel lighter, it could even be healthier, both psychologically and physiologically — because the HPA axis finally gets to rest.

A No RoG Ritual for Regret, Guilt (and for all those nameless fears that plague us)

As a practical takeaway, here is a simple practice for when we slide into regret and start ruminating — the accelerator pressed in neutral:

1. Catch the Loop

When you notice that you are brooding over a past regret, guilt or worrying over a vague fear, take a moment and recognize the feeling. Notice the rumination. Name it: “accelerator in neutral.”

2. Reset Body & Breath

Take a deep breath. If possible, stretch. Do 1–2 rounds of Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) to balance the nervous system.

3. Check Importance

Face the feeling. Bring it to the foreground and ask: “Is this regret or guilt truly important?”  Many times, through embedded patters, we slide into such negative emotions even for insignificant reasons and taking a moment to analyse may help us resolve the issue in quick time.

If we realize that it’s insignificant → Shake it off (literally shrug/ shake your shoulders, exhale, release).

If the regret or guilt is significant → Go to next step.

4. Check Agency

Ask: “Can I do something about it?”

If Yes → Plan what to do (put into gear, convert energy into action).

If No → Cast it away. Raise your hands as a gesture of surrender, let it go. This may need to be repeated often — regrets are sticky — but repetition prevents embedding.

5. Return to Ananda

Anchor back in joy: do something small that restores resonance (music, movement, play, gratitude).

This way, regrets don’t fester into guilt or shame. They either fuel constructive action or dissolve into release.

Achieving Balance

Whether it’s regret, guilt, or shame, in practice they all fall into the same bucket. They are unavoidable parts of being human — signals that something needs attention. The trouble begins when they linger too long. Left unresolved, they become like senescent emotions: no longer serving their original purpose, yet still alive in the background, releasing stress and colouring the way we respond to life in the present. Over time, we maladapt to these deep-rooted residues, and imbalance shows up — mentally, emotionally, or physically.

The No RoG paradigm doesn’t deny regret or guilt; it brings them into focus. It helps us learn from them, repair what needs repair, and release the rest before they grow roots in the subconscious. And in doing so, it opens the door to what we are really seeking: a return to balance.